Team Professional
by SoraPsycho
Summary: Bound by fate, loud noises, adoption papers, and anime, these three stooges will push themselves to their limit of physical strength...just by laughing at themselves.
1. Hello, Misery

(A/N: First Hetalia story! So basically, whatcha see is whatcha get. About 99% of everything in this story actually happened to me in real life, at I'm going to say here is, I'm Prussia, Iggychu on FanFiction is FemChina, and our friend Nick is Britain. My friend Sami is Poland, my friend Devine is Hungary, my friend Lauren is Iceland and my...aquaintance Heaven will be Belarus. If anyone else comes in it, I'll let you know. Also we are play AMERICAN football, as if the clues in the story weren't enough... Enjoy, the horrors of my life...in Hetalia.  
>HEY! HEY! HEY! *You all just got Prussia'd by the way* CHECK THIS OUT! THIS IS ME! DISCLAIMING THE FUCKING STORY! CAN YOU SEE ME ASSHOLES? I thought so...damn long author's note...)<p>

This was never MEANT to happen. It just did. And even if it WAS supposed to happen, it wasn't supposed to happen this way.

Prussia. Britain. China.

Gilbert Beilschmidt. Arthur Kirkland. Wang Yao

3 people who you'd never think to be close together, are.

Did it start with a merger? Did it start with a war? Did it start with an alliance? Did it start with a trade?

Eh, something like that.

It started in middle school...

In 4th period P.E.

Prussia sat on the cold, wooden gymnasium floor, tying his gray Converse.

The coaches were running their mouths as usual telling the adolescents the game of the day.

Today, the game was football.

Oh boy.

Prussia never enjoyed sports too much and ESPECIALLY didn't like football.

He knew right off the bat that today, was gonna suck.

"Alright everyone. I want you all to get in groups of six. Then once we get done with that we'll assign you a team to go up against." Boomed the coach on the loudspeaker.

Prussia immeadiately started to look for his friend Poland. He knew Poland pretty well and Poland was kinda the only one he liked in that class.

"Hey Poland!"

"Yo 'sup Prussia?"

"Oh nothin'. Hey I just thought I'd go with you cause I- GAH!"

Out of nowhere China tackled Prussia with all her might. (A/N: For those of you who like to ignore my author's notes, China is a girl in this story.) Her best friend Britain followed close were ALWAYS with each other. Prussia really didn't know China or Briatin very well, but he had talked to them a few times before so he knew what they liked.

They were the anime type.

Prussia didn't enjoy the anime type.

Hefound them to be squeaky and annoying.

He was absolutely right.

Prussia's other buddy Iceland introduced them.

Well I wouldn't really use the word _introduced._ It was more like:

Iceland, China, and Britain were talking with each other.

Prussia wanted to be with Iceland so he had to put up with the other two.

But when he got there, Iceland just kinda ditched him for The Nordics, and Prussia was left alone...with THEM.

The conversation went a little something like this:

"Nihao aru~! I'm China and this is Britain. Well, I don't know if you like manga and anime as much as we do but-"

"I hate anime...with a passion." Prussia said voice monotone, got up, and walked away.

Never more than a few words had Prussia ever spoken to either of them. And his conversations with Britain were even shorter.

'Ello ol' chap! The name's"

"NOT INTRESTED."

Prussia wanted nothing to do with these people and he made it pretty evident that he didn't want to be with them, so why n the hell was she glomping him?

"Yay!" Yelled China with glee.

"We'e gonna be on the same team together!"

Yippee

(A/N: Please continue on to chapter 2.)


	2. Team Professional is born!

Poland looked nervously at Prussia then back to the personal space invaders.

The last two in the group of six to join the group were Belarus and Hungary. They were kinda just mulling around by themselves, so China and Britain dragged them into it.

Prussia trudged out to the field in pursuit of hi self-appointed teamates.

His arms: crossed. His face: all squishy and angry. His bird: on his head happily tweeting away to Zipp-a-dee-doo-dah. His mood: PISSED.

_'Tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet...~!'_

"Shut up you stupid bird! THERE'S NOTHING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT!" The bird began to cry and wail in sorrow.

"Oh, no! What've I done? I'm so SO sorry my sweet little Gilbird I didn't mean to make you cry! Please forgive me?"

The bird began to sing once more.

"_Phew_. Boy am I sorry. It's just that I've got a bad case of the tummy ouchies. Football + the anime idiots can only lead to indegestion."

Prussia walked silently next to Poland for a while. It was probably the first time he'd ever heard 'im shutup.

"This, like, totally can't be good for my complextion! I mean, like all the sweat and stress. ICK! Plus I decided to straighten my hair on the most humid day of the year!"

(A/N: Hey I didn't say the quiet would LAST, did I?)

Prussia rolled his eyes in annoyance and not-caringness.

"Yeah, I totally know what you mean..." Prussia obviously didn't mean that. He had his mind on other issues. Right now he was on the issue of:

I hate my rival team.

Ah, see if you were paying attention, please do recall the memory of the coaches sayng that they were gonna assign them rival teams.

And of course with Prussia's 'awesome' luck, he had to get stuck with the biggest team of gloating jackasses he'd ever met (excluding himself.)

*The Opposing Team*  
>America-<br>Strengths: He's the only one who knows how to play this game.  
>Weaknesses: What's a weakness?<p>

Denmark-  
>Strengths: Great at shouting...<br>Weakness: Easily distracted...ooh! A butterfly!

Romano-  
>Strengths: His words and bad attitude are intimidating.<br>Weaknesses: Doesn't give a fuck.

Italy-  
>Strengths: Ha! You wish.<br>Weaknesses: Are you even serious? This guy can't even tie his own shoes...  
>Can't run (unless in fear).<br>Can't catch.  
>Can't throw.<br>Scared of his own shadow.  
>Has NO FUCKING CLUE what he's doing half the time.<p>

S. Korea  
>Strengths: Likes touching people, so no one will try to stop him.<br>Weaknesses:...Likes touching people. His alias is Moe Lester. (A/N: Figure THAT one out.)

Turkey-  
>Strengths: SUPER obnoxious.<br>Weaknesses: Dumb as a post.

*The Other Team...*  
>Prussia-<br>Strengths: SUPER AWESOME!  
>Weaknessess: Irritated as all hell.<p>

Britain-  
>Strengths: Fights with France 247 so he can take a hit, and tackle pretty good...but that won't really matter..  
>Weaknessess: Gets extremely insulted whenever someone calls his food gross.<p>

China-  
>Strengths: Kick-ass when handlling a wok.<br>Weaknesses: The teachers confiscated her strength...

Poland-  
>Strengths: Defensive.<br>Weaknesses: Doesn't feel like getting dirty.

Hungary-  
>Strengths: Acts like a guy anyway, so can adapt to sports easily<br>Weakness: Wants to take out Prussia and ONLY Prussia...who's on HER team.

Belarus-  
>Strengths: Everyone's scared of her.<br>Weaknesses: Randomly wanders off to find and scare the piss out of Russia.

(A/N: In real life, the opponent team goes like this (keep in mind, I don't know these people.) :  
>This bitch named Megan: America<br>This girl who's her fucking sidekick, Chelsea: Denmark  
>This bitch Prissilla or however the fuck she spells her name.<br>This chick Cheyenne: Italy  
>This mo-ron named Amanda: Turkey<br>That one girl Alexis: S. Korea  
>What? I had to have ONE weak person on the team and it seemed that Italy fit because I KNEW he wasn't gonna be with us.)<p>

"Alright!" Yelled coach Germany. "Anyone who's found their group und their rival team, go over to the other coach and he give you your belts."

"Wait!" Cried South Korea. "You mean there's no touching?'

Germany glared at him.

"Nein. This is FLAG football."

Korea pouted.

"You six!" Germany pointed to Prussia and his motley crew. "Go and talk to the other coach."

But they were hesitant in doing so...because they were afraid.

The other coach was coach Switzerland.

Germany began to throw things so they hightailed it.

"America's group! Go to the field on my left." Switzy instructed. He looked at the rag-tag team of six beside them. "Prussia's group...go with them." He gave them a cold stare.

The all pick up their belts. Since they couldn't work together on picking their team's color (and the fact that like, 20 belts were missing) half their team was red and the other half was yellow.

Everyone got in their positions.

There was a hard stare-down coming from America, the only one who fully understood thow to play football. He was crouched over with his hands in a fierce cat-like pose.

Switzerland drew in deep breath and released it in one, loud, whistle-blow.

Immediately people started running around as if they knew what they were doing...they didn't.

During the very beginning of the game, things were normal...but then...

Someone threw the ball to Prussia.

What in the hell gave them the impression that Prussia knew how to play this game and was willing to? He had a pissy attitude since he got to class.

Is it because he's loud?

Prussia tried to beat everyone in every sport he played.

In truth, Prussia actually sucked dick at sports. He would never admit to weaknesses like THAT, though.

Prussia stood there motionless. Nobody knew what was going on, so no one pulled his flag.

Prussia was under duress (A/N: How's THAT for vocab Mrs. A?)  
>His pulse pounded. His heart heaved. The blood swirled around in his ears and he could HEAR it. Beads of sweat started forming on his pale head. He desperately started searching around for someone to throw the ball to, before America could rip the belt off him. But obviously, America thought this as a joke because he was just kinda walking towards him.<p>

And that's when he heard it.

The one sentence taht gave this story it's name and created one of the greatest bonds of friendship in the history of alliances:

"I bet he's just scared to throw the ball because I'm a professional!"

America smirked as he finished his sentence.

Dead silence is all anybody heard.

They all knew America went to extremes, but never as far as to insult Prussia. Nobody EVER insulted Prussia.

Prussia was frustrated, confused, but mostly FURIOUS.

Somebody thought they were better than him?

He threw the ball with all his might. And boy, did that bitch FLY.

And to his, and everyone else's surprise, China actually caught it and she was on the OTHER SIDE of the field.

She didn't mean to, she just...did. China kinda stood there, not knowing what to do. But when she saw the huge guys charging her, her first instinct was to stand her ground. But her SECOND instinct was to run, run away!

(A/N: 10 Points to the first person (who is not my friend) to guess where this quote is from!)

She eventually and accidentally made a touchdown. She was kinda on a roll, since earlier she had swung her hand out randomly and deflected a throw from America.

Both teams stood there, shocked, while China danced away in the end zone.

Briain looked at Prussia, mouth agape and asked,

"What the FUCK just happened?" The two of them cracked up so hard, they literally, ROFL Rolled On the Floor Laughing.

The other team started yelling at them to get up, but Britain and Prussia kept on giggling.

"Fine, let 'em laugh. We're already beating them 6-4!" Shouted America.

"What?" Screamed Britain. "You're actually keeping score?" And the two of them laughed even HARDER!

"Crazy bastards..." Scoffed Romano.

Britain, Prussia, and China stood side by side watching Poland and Hungary. Try to play against Denmark, Italy and America. It had been about 5 minutes since their little laughing episode back there, they decided that they'd had enough of pretending to play a sport they hated and watched from a distance.

Apparently, countries are very un-original, because the remains of America's team did the same thing.

"I hate how they're being so serious about this." Britain commented.

"Who are you The Joker? 'Why so serious?'". Prussia smiled. "But I totally agree with you. For God's sake. it's middle school football...and it's not even like we're on the team...we're in Phys. Ed.!" He added.

"It's annoying." Said Belarus walking away from them.

"I still can't believe I made a touchdown." Said China.

"But seriously. Did you HEAR America back there?

*Says in mocking tone*

'I'm a professional!' What a lame-ass." Britain chuckled.

"That's fuckin' great, huh? That should just be are team name, right? Like, THE PROFESSIONALS." Prussia giggled.

"I've got a good one! How about The Lazy Fuckers?" Britain joked.

"I still can't believe I made a touchdown." China repeated.

They smiled. They stood around some more and laughed some more and made adoption and lesbian joke, as any middle school countries would. This cycle continued for a while until...

"Hey!" Yelled Poland. "You're, like, totally, NOT helping!"

"Sure we are! By keeping us out the game, you've just prevented three MAJOR accidents!"

"Oh, you guys are accidents all right." Said Turkey.

Britain glared.

"Well I know _I'm_ helping." Said Prussia.

"How?" Screamed Poland.

"Moral support!" He replied. "See? Whoo! Go guys! You are SO NOT gonna win this thing!" He shouted kicking his leg high in the air like a cheerleader.

"Still not helpiiiiinnngg!" Yelled Poland chasing after America.

America walked over to his team, same with Poland...except Poland just kinda ignored them.

America looked at the trio.

"Seriously, bro, you guys aren't even playing. At least MY team's doing something." He said waltzing back to the field.

"Oh my God. Are you even serious?" Asked Prussia.

"What?" Britain asked in return.

"America is gonna stop playing so he can talk with them and then has the nerve to come over here and tell me that I haven't been playing, saying this all with a straight face mind you. He has the AUDACITY to look me straight in the eyes and tell me his team hasn't been standing there the entire time?"

The three of them laughed so hard the fell down.

Prussia smiled. "You know, you guys don't suck as hard as I thought you would."

"Oh gee, thanks." Replied Britain sarcastically.

"C'mon, I didn't mean it like THAT." He protested.

Britain and China flashed their pearly whites.

"We know what you meant." They answered in unison.

FINALLY! After what seemed like a lifetime, coach Switzy blew his obnoxious whistle, signifying that it was time to go.

So they all walked to the locker rooms together, as a team.

Well, they didn't walk really. They were dragged...by China.

China took each of the boys' hands and ran so far ahead of them that she began to practically drag them.

THUD!

Chin went straight through the door perfectly unhramed.

The boys however...

Britain rammed straight into the brick wall, and Prussia caught the backside of an opening door.

"CHINA!" They screamed.

"Sorry, aru~!"

This, ladies and gentlemen is how the epic legacy of Team Professional was created. Oh, but this is only the beginning...

(A/N: Scared yet? Lol, hoped you like it! FINALLY! I FINISHED IT IGGYCHU! AND I'M WAITING FOR YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE TO READ IT! ABUSING THE CAPS LOCK! Well, as always I love you all and have a good morning/day/afternoon/evening/night/twilight/dawn/team edward/team jacob/ whatever the hell time of day you're reading this at.

KTHXBAI :D!)


	3. Stupid Professionals

(A/N: WHOO! YAY! HOORAY FOR TEAM PROFESSIONAL! France is my friend Dylan Woomer on the bus who sits next to me and always molests me! Srsly you can ask Iggychu...Also Spain is the boy who sits right behind us, Alex! Plus, the boy who sexts next to China, who I am just gonna call Mexico for the hell of it. Even if I don't like OC'S... By the way if you hear me say a name of a country, and then I say 'she', don't be surprised because I needed more Fem!Countries...even if I hate THEM too. Plus random characters scattered around everywhere. ROMANO IS NOT ANGELA, TURKEY IS NOT MIKEY, AND SEAN IS NOT CUBA! For whoever is my friend, you are all still your characters except Kassie obviously. Since I can't make you Spain for various and obvious reasons, you shall be Australia (SORRY!) Oh and also, HRE is a teen like the rest of the characters. I SHALL SHUTUP NAO AND SAY NO MOAR!)

Prussia woke up at exactly 7:40 A.M.

_'Good.'_ He thought. _'That gives me a full ten minutes to get ready!' _Although in truth, he really only needed five, the other five were spent waiting for the bus to come. And I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this story and what it has to do with Team Professional, but I'm sure it'll be explained in a second or two...

Ah, YES! The reason I've been telling you this pointless information is because, today, more than ever before, Prussia wanted to get to school.

Or, rather, the bus.

You see, Prussia rode the same bus as China and knew that she sat right in front of him. So the night before when he had come home from school, he had devised a plan.

It was a most brilliant plan.

It was 'Operation: talk to China on the bus about Phys. Ed. for the first time ever!'

Yeah... he's not so good with coming up with the names of plans.

He ran to his bus stop and got on the bus as quick as he could. He was so distracted with wanting to talk to China, that didn't even say hi to his effervescent bus buddy.

"Hello, mon ami~!" France cooed in that odd way of his.

"Yeah, hi! Now SHHHHHH!"

France just kinda stared at him with this weird look frozen on his face.

"Um...are you okay Pruss-"

"YEAH, FINE, NEVER BEEN BETTER NOW SHHHH! I DON'T KNOW WHERE HER STOP IS! I HAVE TO LOOK FOR HER!" Prussia shouted, cutting him off rudely.

Now France was REALLY confused. He just chuckled a bit and shook his head all disapproving-like.

And when Spain hopped on the bus, France gave his usual, cordial greeting, but Prussia didn't even bat an eyelash for the poor Spainard. All he got was an a stare that lingered waaaaaay longer than it needed too from France and a sneer from Mexico.

They drove and went to all the stops but alas, China was not there that day, and Prussia was in despair. He was all excited to talk to China again...

He was determined to know if China was there at all that day. So, he leaned over to Iceland and asked him if he knew. A simple shake of the head 'no' was the response. The soul-crushing response.

(A/N: Now to those of you actually reading this garbage, I bet you're pretty confused about the whole set up on the back of the bus. So I've decided to show you!

17. China Mexico Seychelles  
>19. Prussia France Netherlands<br>21. Spain Ukraine  
>THISISTHEBACKOFTHEBUS!<p>

Pretty sweet diagram isn't it? Desgined it mahself! Back to the story!)

So the ever-loud Prussia just sat in silence for the rest of the 10 minute drive to the school.

*LATER*

First through third period dragged on and on and on; Prussia was ready to pull out his hair. His thoughts were only centered around what would happen in gym that day.

Even when Prussia's best friends Australia, Sealand, and Canada tried to talk to him, they were coldly IGNORED by him.

The only one who could get through to him was Poland.

"Yo, broski, like, what's your problem? I mean, you like, CAN'T miss those two from gym yesterday, right? They are like, TOTALLY weird!"

Prussia sneered at the comment.

"Weird is a relative term." He replied.

Did he actually stand up for those two anime freaks?

No! Of course not! He couldn't accept being FRIENDS with anyone related to anime!

Now that he got more and more into thinking about it he began to wonder why he wanted to even see them at all!

Sure what happened yesterday in P.E. was absofrickin'loutely HILARIOUS but Prussia himself knew that their friendship wasn't built to last! They were just too different to get along.

It was weird. Something in Prussia began to sink him like a battle ship blown to smitherines. The feeling was odd. Was Prussia actually feeling sadness at not being able to stay friends with those two?

He started stolling to fourth period. He thought about everything that had happened, analyzed all the facts, and daydreamt of what could happen today in hopes to find something that would make them stay friends. He thought about all the good times they had. (Meaning yesterday.)

Prussia was woken out of his reverie by a little voice in the back of his mind...er, wait... where was that voice coming from?

Suddenly he was smacked upside the head by something, stiff, furry, and...white?

'Kumajiro? What the hell was that for? That was SO not awesome!" Prussia screamed. The bear pointed to the Canadian, who was infact the voice in Prussia's head, who was now cowering in the corner.

"I-I'm sorry Prussia. It's j-just that I w-was calling you for about 2 minutes now and y-you haven't even blinked. A-actually it barely looked like you w-were breathing..."

Prussia sighed. "No, I'm sorry Canada. I didn't hear you."

"Oh it's a-alright," Canada stuttered. "But I really should be getting to class though."

"Oh, right, bye!" Wow! Prussia had almost forgotten about fourth period! That would've sucked.

He wondered,_ 'These are what REAL friends are like, right? They make you smile, make you laugh, but can also make you feel better and are very patient and considerate with each other. Maybe I should see if Britain and China act that way. Then, and only then, will I be able to call them friends.'_

He ran with all his might tearing ass down the hall to get to the locker rooms. These weren't the boys locker rooms though, there were the girls.

You see Prussia already comes to school wearing something appropriate for gym, so he made a deal with the girls.

If he stayed in the old, haunted bathroom stall, and waited until his friend Greece gave the 'OK', then he was aloud to stay there for the duration of the changing times.

This agreement had only been in place for a school week, but he hasn't had any complaints or anything yet.

One of the only reasons that he ever made that agreement was so that he and Greece could talk more. She wasn't very open with people, but she was close with Prussia since Greece's cousin was one of Prussia friends and because they went to the same karate dojo. The only other person that Greece really connects with is Japan. But Japan isn't very open herself.

So when he got to the door, he found Greece and Japan waiting there as usual.

He said 'HELLO' really quickly and loud as he threw open the door and ran inside which startled the two of them.

He closed stall #16 as fast as he could and sat on the floor twiddling his thumbs for about four minutes until Greece said,

"Alright Prussia, you can come out now."

He flew outta that stall and franctically ran around the locker room as Greece and Japan asked him why he was acting so weird.

"AHA!" Prussia had the target in sight. "CHINA!" He called out.

"PRUSSIA!" She cried.

"Oh man, I've been looking everywhere for you!" Prussia yelled.

"Haha sorry, I wasn't on the bus, aru." Prussia shrugged.

"It's alright." Even though it was most certainly NOT alright.

The two of them chatted all the way to the gymnasium about all that went on yesterday.

Then when Britain got there, the jumped and laughed and talked as if they'd been friends all their lives.

"Merry Christmas, daddy's gay and he's leaving us for a younger man!" Britain said repeating the joke from yesterday.

"Happy birthday, you're adopted!" China giggled.

"Oh, I'm a 'PROFESSIONAL'!" Prussia yelled. That had them all on the floor, I mean, how could you be so ridiculous as to say a thing like that?

Coach Switzerland enjoys ruining people's fun so as soon as the three were finally together again, coach blew the whistle that ment,'sit the hell down in your seats or I will kill you.'

Prussia found his spot on the floor.

So there he was, once again. Just as yesterday had started.

***Let the REAL story of Team Professional commence!***

Prussia sat on the cold, wooden gymnasium floor, tying his gray Converse.

The coaches were running their mouths as usual telling the adolescents the game of the day.

Today, the game was Basketball.

Oh boy.

Prussia never enjoyed sports too much and REALLY didn't like Basketball.

He knew right off the bat that today, was gonna suck.

Well, maybe not as bad as he thought since now he had some frie-...AQUAINTANCES to pal around with.

"Everyone get into groups no more than five, no less than three. You have thiry second and then, if you don't have a group by then I will shoot you."

Prussia disregarded that statement because he was attacked by Britain and China with Hungary following close behind.

"Guess we have our group of four then, eh?" Prussia said contempt.

Everyone was assigned a hoop. They got the forgotten one in back right corner of the court.

This is how it worked.

Each team would stand at their court with a rival team. Who ever won the short game would move to the next one, so on, and so forth.

The four's first group was a serious-looking all boys team consisting of Sweden, Holy Roman Empire, Cuba, and Netherlands.

Of course, none of the four were really playing at all. Britain and Prussia threw a ball back and forth to each other, China danced, Hungary tried, and the other team cursed.

Perfectly Normal.

Britain and Prussia continued to joke about the 'professional' thing with China only putting her thoughts in every once in a while.

With Eyebrows and Awesome keeping each other occupied, China and Hungary actually tried playing for a bit. Then, as the other team still kicked their asses 12:nothing, China realized something. And she went to go get the source.

"Hey! You two aren't helping, aru!"

"Yeah I am! I'm moral support because I'm awesome!"

"I'm too professional to play basket ball." Britain and Prussia laughed some more China rolled her eyes.

"I'm not good at basketball." Said Hungary. And yet right after she said that, she catches a rebound, throws the ball and makes it in.

The score was now 17:2.

*BLOWS WHISTLE REALLY LOUDLY AND OBNOXIOUSLY!*

"Alright everyone, switch! Winners, move on. Loosers..." He looked at us. "Stay."

"We're not dogs..." Prussia whispered to them.

*The next team*

Their next team was a less serious, but still FAR more serious that China, britain, Prussia, or Hungary, all girls team.

The team was Belgium, Seychelles, and Norway.

"Oh my god." Prussia said. "They act like they're the freakin' Powerpuffs or somethin'!"

Giggles a plenty.

More laughter, more, cursing, more uselessness, more professional talk.

*Whistle Blows again*

Their third and final team was coming towards them. Only, this time it was different.

The boys were three people from the football group from yesterday!

And they got their just seconds after another professional crack from China.

Prussia turned to his three teammates with a sickened look on his face.

"It's _THEM. _THEM, you guys, three of the 'professionals' from yesterday." Instantly the mood changed from lazy to worried.

Italy, Romano, and Turkey were all walking this way while Turkey intimidatingly bouced a basketball!

Since Italy and Hungary have always sort of been friends it wasn't that weird for them so they played together.

"I can't believe this! Hungary ditched us for-for...a PROFESSIONAL!" Prussia yelled. Britain and China shook their heads dissapointingly.

The quiet and awkward game between Hungary and Italy was background noise for the practicall edible tension hanging in the air.

No surprise to them at all, Romano and Turkey stood there talking to each other doing NOTHING. Kinda like what Britain, Prussia, and China were doing now.

After five minutes of whisper-giggles, their savior blew his whistle of justice!

"Go back your locker rooms everyone!" Said the green-eyed coach.

"We lost all our games, aru."

"It doesn't matter, we're still WAY awesomer than everyone else!"

"When you get back for PAWS, I expect you to have a team name so we can announce who won!" Switzerland yelled.

This was an absolute no brainer.

The three clowns looked at each other and immediately shouted.

"Team Professional!"

The other kids looked at them funny.

*After the locker rooms in PAWS time*

Prussia, Britain, and China, who were left last minute by Hungary, went up to coach Switzy.

"Team name?" He asked.

As if on cue, the three 'aquaintences' simply smiled and said,

"Team Professional."

This was never MEANT to happen. It just did. And even if it WAS supposed to happen, it wasn't supposed to happen this way.

Prussia. Britain. China.

Gilbert Beilschmidt. Arthur Kirkland. Wang Yao

3 people who you'd never think to be close together, are.

Did it start with a merger? Did it start with a war? Did it start with an alliance? Did it start with a trade?

Eh, something like that.

It started in middle school...

In 4th period P.E.


	4. Pulses, Vital Refions, and Rape Dancing

**(A/N: Yay! I LOVE writing this story...like, so much! Brings back such good freakin' memories. **

**By the way, shout out to PropertyOfDemyx, in response to your last comment:  
>I totally could've ended it there if I wanted to, but then you wouldn't get to read about the rest of our wacky adventures! <strong>

**Also, if you haven't noticed I kinda have nicknames for Team Professional. Britain is Eyebrows, Prussia is Awesome XD, and China is Ponytail.**

**The conversation below was made up and there for not real. XD But it was kinda funny because it was just a random thought I had and I had this whole conversation with myself to try and figure out the answer to my question. Also I had to have an ending to the conversation because I needed to figure out what I would write in the story. I actually had a conversation in my head with...me? The things I do for you people!**

**Enjoy~!)**

"I don't understand what you're saying. I mean, I get what you're trying to say, but I don't know how any of it can make the senses?" Inquired Iceland.

"I'm saying that Estonia told me something about chicken hybrids and then I started thinking about how if chickens could hybrid with themselves, why not other animals or humans?"

"And how would they succeed in doing something like that, mon ami?"

"Maybe if human baby gravy somehow found it's way into a chicken's vital reigions...?" Everone gaped at Ukraine's bluntness.

"Okay I get that, but it could never work; the offspring would just die in the mother's womb because the body just rejected it because it wasn't the same DNA make up, no? But like, what if the chicken was enfused with human DNA when it was still an egg, like genetic engineering, si?" Spain commented, rather intelligently.

"Yeah!"

"But wait, how do they get the shell open without breaking it?"

"Maybe the scientists can glue it all back together?" Belgium offered.

"...Yeah I'm thinking that is not going to be the working." Belarus grunted.

There was a silence and you could taste the tension in the air as everyone thought; it tasted like chicken...

"No wait! I got it! It's not the the chicken that gets pregnant! It has to be a human chick! So that way they can alter the egg in the womb before it starts to develope, resulting in not a chicken-human, but a HUMAN-CHICKEN!"

There was a slight applause for Prussia as he solved everyone's confusion.

He wasn't even a part of the conversation for fear of catching stupid, but he just couldn't take anymore of this babbling NONSENSE! SO not awesome. Almost as unawesome as anime! Prussia snickered to himself. All of their thoughts were asinine in comparison to Prussia's AWESOME thesis!

Mexico started this dumb conversation about half-chicken, half-human beings, (at one point he couldn't tell if they were discussing chicken mutants or Estonia XD) which led to Belgium and Netherlands joining as well as Belarus and Icey poking their noses in along with Natalya's older sister and the other two members of the BTT. Just the usual suspects.

Prussia eagerly waited for China to arrive. Her stop is one of the last few.

When she finally ran onto the bus, she plopped herself down on the seat next to Mexico who rolled his eyes and instantly started whining like a bitch.

"AAARRRRGH! Can't you just go sit somewhere else for once?!"

"No, aru. This is where my assigned seat is and besides, my new friend Prussia sits here!"

Friend.

Prussia pondered the word. Is she really awesome enough to be considered his friend? Same with Eyebrows...

His mouth moved anyway without his brain telling it to do so.

"Hello Miss 'LESS AWESOME THAN ME' China!"

She rolled her eyes at him.

"Hello Awesome!" She giggled. He smirked with pride at the nickname.

"You know it!"

"Yesterday was awesome, wasn't it?" She asked him.

"Miss, you need a lesson in TRUE awesomeness from yours truly! But yes...yesterday was, in fact, 'awesome'." Prussia replied sheepishly.

"So..."

"So...?"

"I guess it's official then!" China stated, smiling.

"What's official?" Asked a puzzled Prussian.

"The three of us, you, me, and Britain, being called 'Team Professional'!" She said, matter-of-factly.

Prussia thought about this.

_'Hmm...do I really join this little group of theirs just yet? Or do I put their true friendship skillz to the test some more?'_

But again, his big mouth blabbed away as if having a mind of its own.

"Sure!" He agreed.

"Yeehee!" China squeed happily.

_'What did I just get myself into?'_

*Fourth Period*

Again, Prussia ran to the girl's locker room and lie in wait in 'The Haunted Stall #16'.

_CLING! CLANG! CLATTER!_

"What the-?" Prussia looked all around the tiny stall. "Where'd that noise come from?"

"Alright you weirdo, it's time to come out now!" Greece called rather loudly.

"Just promise you won't freak out on us like you did yesterday?" Japan asked quietly.

"Yeah, yeah, I promise! I got it under control!"

Prussia crept out from the bathroom.

"Hellooooo? China?"

Silence.

"PRUSSIA!"

She tackled him. He glared at her angrily.

"Yes! Thank-you! Thank-you for that!" He yelled.

"Hahaha sorry Prussia." She laughed.

"C'mon let's get to the gymnasium already." Prussia told his Asian friend.

The two chatted as they walked to meet their friend Britain. Prussia pulled the big double doors open

"S'up Eyebrows?" Prussia asked as the two high-fived.

"Nothin' much..." He replied.

"Sit down and be quiet!" Coach Germany instructed.

They reluctantly complied.

"Now!" Said Switzerland. "Today we will be doing something a little bit differently. We will be checking our pulses."

As the other children stuck ther fingers to their neck Prussia had gotten very bored rather quickly so he kind of just wandered off to Britain and China.

"This is awkward..." Britain said with China's fingertips on his throat.

"How's my pulse?" Ponytail asked Britain whose fingers were at her neck.

"Good I suppose...how's mine?"

"...Dude, I can't feel your pulse."

This worried Britsy.

"Well...is that a bad thing?!"

The two of them kinda looked like this *O_O*

"Wazzup?" Prussia sat down and asked them, breaking the awkward silence.

"Nothing." Answered Britain.

"Checking each other's pulses."

"WOW WHATEVER!" Prussia smiled.

The Opium Wars pair just rolled their eyes.

*Let the games begin!*

Prussia sat on the cold, wooden gymnasium floor, tying his gray Converse.

The coaches were running their mouths as usual telling the adolescents the game of the day.

Today, it was different. The kids were given a choice. The choice was either basketball again or capture the flag.

Oh boy.

Prussia never enjoyed sports too much and, as we had already established yesterday, didn't like basketball, but enjoyed playing capture the flag back in grade school.

He knew right off the bat that today, was gonna suck.

"Well you guys," Prussia said. "What's it gonna be?"

The three answered simultaneously.

"Capture the flag!"

"Capture the flag!"

"Basketball!"

Britain and Prussia turned to China, the odd one out.

"WHAT?" Prussia asked seriously.

"Why in god's name would we want to play basketball AGAIN? ESPECIALLY after what happened yesterday!"

"Well capture the flag means you have to do a lot of running and it's really cold outside and I forgot to wear my long pants!" China whined.

"It's okay! The awesome me will warm you up with my awesomeness!" Prussia then snuggled China all the way to the field. Britain wasn't very pleased with this.

*At the field*

"Alright!" Yelled Switzy. "You two!" He pointed at China and Britain. "Go the blue team!"

"And YOU," He pointed at Prussia, "You will go to the yellow team."

Depair was brought upon the pair assigned to the blue team until Prussia came up with a simple solution.

Instead of grabbing a yellow vest, he grabbed a blue one. *D:*

The three idiots were reunited on the blue team.

"See?" Prussia asked. "It was as simple as that.

Coach Switzerland blew that damn whistle and they were off!

*Dog buns*

"Britain, Britain! Prussia, Prussia! A guy from the yellow team has passed our borders and invaded our vital regions!" China cried.

"What am I supposed to do about it?" Britain asked.

"STOP HIM."

"Meh, I'll do it later."

"I hate you!" She yelled. "What about you Prussia?"

"Pssh! I'M certainly not giving the team protection!"

'"He's too awesome for that!" Chirped Gilbird.

"The what ARE you giving the team?" China asked.

"MORAL SUPPORT!"

"Should've known." She mumbled. "If you want something done right do it yourself-aru!"

China then begins concentrating and using an ancient technique to harvest all her energy and level up. As her power increased she began to shine and glow a bright yellow light.

"The light is strong!" Britain commented.

"This is awesome!"

She goes to run straight to the other team's field but just collapses instead.

"I'm too lazy-aru!"

"FAIIIIIIILLL." Gilbird Squawked.

*LATER*

Through all of their blinding boredom they needed to find something to do that was at least SLIGHTLY entertaining. So, to save them from crippling out of lameness, Prussia decided to teach China the rape dance.

To do the rape dance is simple. All you have to do is wiggle some part of your body, i.e. your head, your shoulders, your finger, your tongue, your dick, etc., while moving closer the target you wish to rape.

After testing it on each other a couple of times (minus the rapey part), Prussia had a great suggestion.

"Let's rape dance with Iggy!" The two of them started moving closer and closer to their target; their poor, British target.

*THEY'RE CLOSING IN!*

"What the bloody hell are you two doing?!" He asked being glomped by the odd pair.

After Prussia taught Britain the rape dance as well, the three of the tried it out on each other.

The ended up on the ground with all their other teammates shouting at them to get up and stop acting like idiots.

Typical.

**(A/N: Continue to chapter 5 plz!)**


	5. Who's Idea Was This!

**(A/N: Thank you.)**

Not sure if it was the teams themselves or the ground being played on holding very bad juju, the coach made the teams switch sides of the field because the blue team, (our beautiful little Team Professional's side) had not won a single round since the game started 20 minutes ago.

When the next round began, it took all of two seconds before the players became very serious again.

The Professional Team had turned their attention to a quarrel between Cuba and America.

"You're an idiot!" Yelled Cuba

"NO, YOU'RE the idiot!" Cried America.

"You touched my foot!" Cuba shouted.

"Well you touched my ass!" America retorted.

"The fuck?" Prussia asked.

The trio giggled at the poor choice of words.

After more walking around and laughing, something UNBELIEVEABLE happened, the Blue Team actually won a round! (No thanks to our three "heroes".)

So, Team Professional decided they needed a handshake for their group.

It goes like this: You stand in a circle. Left elbow goes in, right elbow goes in, then you turn in your own little circle while doing the sprinkler and hitting the other team members in the face.

However, after their celebratory pain, Switzerland noticed the turn-around in the Blue Team's performance and decided to make their happiness die by switching the team's sides again.

It worked.

The blue team began losing once more.

After getting fed up with just standing around and losing for thrity-five minutes Prussia found a brilliant way to be able to sit down in the middle of the game and not get yelled at. All they had to do was get caught and then they could sit in the other team's jail. Prussia formulated a plan.

It was a most AWESOME plan.

It was operation: Get caught by the other team and sit in their jail!

We've already discussed his inability to come up with good plan names.

I was simple all he had to do was get tagged by a Yellow Team member and BOOM! He would be free to sit in the jail all he wanted!

ABSOLUTELY FOOL-PROOF!

He began to walk on to the forbidden side of the field.

"What are you doing?!" China asked.

"I just want to get caught to sit in the other team's jail!" He told his worried companions.

So, he took a breath and that brave first step over to the other side.

But nothing happened.

So he continued on.

Again, nothing happened.

He started spinning around and yelling.

Still, nothing happened.

"They don't care!" Shouted China.

"I don't give a fuck!" Prussia screamed while lifting his blue jersey/vest thingy off and swinging it above his head wildly.

"Watch your language!" She yelled.

"NO!"

Prussia continued to act like a total ass for about 30 more seconds until he became extremely frustrated at the lax borders.

He then realized that maybe, by now, everyone had already figured out that he and his friends were the laziest kids in P.E. and nobody bothered to tag him because they knew he wasn't a REAL threat.

"SOMEONE TOUCH ME DAMNIT!" He shrieked.

China and Britain stood at the border holding their sides.

"Shutup..." Prussia muttered under his breath.

Someone finally had the GAUL to approach the seemingly untouchable Prussian boy.

After a short conversation on why he wanted to be tagged, said person touched him and he was out.

But irony and coach Switzerland both SUCK because as soon as he sat down in the jail, a new round was started, meaning the people in jail were free to go and had to GET OUT.

Prussia decided to say 'screw it'! So he returned back to his side sat down in his own jail...and pouted.

Yes, Pouting Prussia.

After China and Britain were done laughing at Prussia's pouty face, they decided to give Prussia a flower they had picked off from the ground to see if it would cheer him up.

He had an idea.

Prussia took the flower and started mocking a certain country obsessed with le amour.

"Honhonhon~! Bonjour, I'm France! Here have a flower and let me rape you!"

That had them all in stitches.

*Team handshake time!*

That time, Britain's phone fell and China and Prussia had a fun time watching him race over to it and rescue it trying to avoid him or it being trampled by kids running past.

*EVEN FREAKING LATER*

Somehow, this game was still going on.

Prussia decided it was time to invade some vital regions.

"C'mon China! We'll do this and score an awesome goal!"

"Ya-aru! Britain, do want to help us?"

Britain gave his most enthusiastic 'no' of the day.

Since Prussia's earlier attempts at being captured failed miserably, they knew the defense of the of the other team's borders only mattered to them if you had one of their flags in your hand.

As to not seem supicious, the two of them casually strolled over to the one spot of the yellow team's side in which the blue team victims were safe: the flag zone.

But when they got there, they had found that there were no more flags left to take because everyone inside there had gotten one already.

Poveglia, an Italian Island and ally of Prussia and China, was there with a flag in his hand ready to represent the blue team by taking it back to their base. Unfortunately, however, the security on that side was far greater than on any OTHER side. But Prussia could see Poveglia's actions and knew he was going to try and go for it ANYWAY because that's just what Poveglia does.

Prussia even tried warning him not to.

"Don't run it. Don't run it. Don't run it. Don't run it."

And of course, ignoring him, Poveglia takes off running.

"You asshole. You asshole. You asshole. You asshole."

He was then caught, sent to jail, and his captured flag was returned back to the flag zone.

"SEE?! I TOLD YOU!" Prussia shouted to him in the jail.

He replied with the finger.

The pair suggested it was too risky and effort-required to continue so they quietly slipped out the back and tore ass down the field running away from there.

They threw themselves over the border at Britain. There, heaving on the floor, Prussia spoke.

"Psssh, these losers don't know the first thing about baseball..."

Everyone was quiet.

"When's MY turn to bat?!" He asked shooting his hand up.

After what could've been considered AN ETERNITY, Coach Dickface blew his dickface whistle and announced that it was time to go and that the yellow team won.

SHOCKER.

As Britain continued to whine about how it seemed that every kid in this class was a fitness junkie, Prussia became bored and slapped him in the face.

Britain looked like this *D:*

"You git! WHAT was that for?!"

Prussia shrugged, which of course resulted in him getting slapped in the face also.

Well, that is just NOT how Prussia rolls folks and he just HAD to have the last laugh!

So Prussia slapped him back.

Briatin took another swing but Prussia ducked and smacked Britsy in the back of his head. China grabbed the two of their wrists before either one got another chance to hurt the other and again, like a few days ago, dragged them to the locker rooms but as before, Briatin ran into the wall and Prussia was smacked against the door.

"I said it before and I'll say it again, you guys are younger than me and you can't even keep up with me-aru~!"

The boys groaned in pain.

Prussia went home that day and thought about all the things that made friendships

They were nice, they shared some intrests. For example, they liked Pokemon, Spongebob, and Kingdom Hearts. They made each him laugh, they stuck by him other, and they cared about him.

Maybe, thia friendship will work after all...

**(A/N: AUGH DONE. Sorry Iggychu! I know I told you I would post the new chapter like, a week ago but my computer was on the fritz and yeah so, ENJOY!)**


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